Dear fellow world savers

What better way to begin the new year than with good news? Beyond the fact that our beloved city has made it largely unscathed through the chaos of last year's festivities, some negligible property damage aside, of course.

On the topic of good news: It is with great pleasure that I introduce you to XERXES' first official company-wide newsletter! 🎉

Who has been messing with the lunch name tags in the communal kitchen on the 6th floor? What is the weirdest call the Supervillain Emergency Hotline has filed this week? Why does HR collect dead office plants? And most importantly: who is the most wanted supervillain of the year?

Worry not for I will find the answers to all your burning questions.

Expect real talk on everything that is happening inside the shielded and super-secured walls of our headquarters, including but not limited to: weekly business updates, supervillain rankings, post-battlefield gossip and the occasional state secret*.

xerxestogo is like a double espresso shot before you log yourself in for the day: hot, quick to swallow, with a sharp burn that lingers on your tongue for the rest of the morning. The perfect way to start the end of your work week, you might say.

Or just a decent start into your Friday, should you have a weekend shift.

Who is haunting your inbox? 👀

You may be wondering who in the world I am. Me. This complete stranger who has invaded your inbox at 8:15 am on a Friday morning when everyone knows that you do not approach anyone before 8:30. 9:00 at the earliest when it involves a video call.

I am Jo and I look forward to getting to know you.

Through some stroke of luck I got my hands on the only available internship of the hottest Marketing Department in town. Literally. Our Department Head does not believe in opening windows for anything less than a gas- or poison-related attack.

But I disgress. Yesterday was my first day at XERXES and so far it has been an amazing experience.

I mean, I knew working at the most reputable local superhero organization would be interesting and I was not disappointed. To start with, I have already learned seventeen new curse words from our not-quite-friendly IT Department because someone screwed up when they registered my personal information and it has created quite a mess of a file. I also got tackled by security when the elevator rejected my access card—I am supposed to work here, I swear—and have listened to fifty-two renditions of Taylor Swift's newest album, thanks to whoever hacked the intercom system.

Oh, and there is some weird guy skulking around our break room who appears to be allergic to the word "hello". Is there a secret handshake I have to learn?

Anyway, my boss is on vacation until January 12th, so our Department Head told me to keep myself busy and set up an internal newsletter.

According to my newly assigned work buddy Yenna our Department Head believes in "learning by doing" and "empowering her people". That or she has me confused with the junior marketing manager who was also supposed to start this week but has yet to show up.

I hope they are alright.

And that they show up before a Tracking Squad gets deployed to hunt them down. Yenna has assured me that will happen once they miss the second mandatory three day check-in.

In the meantime, I am more than happy to put together a list of potential topics for next week's newsletter. On a related note, I look forward to meeting you all—and maybe listen to a story or two about your first days at XERXES. If you are willing to share any, that is.

I plan to stop by the other Departments for introductions as soon as IT sorts out the issues with my access card. Or once Yenna agrees to give me a tour. Whichever happens first.

(For some reason she is not a fan of entering "hostile territories" as she called R&D. And a couple of other Departments. All of them, actually.)

Wish me luck and I will see you soon!

Note from our benevolent Top Management: Well done, team! 👏

I am delighted to report that 2025 has been a great year for XERXES.

Overall, super-related crime has been on a slow but undeniable increase. Luckily so is our successful arrest rate. Thanks to the new safety protocols that have been implemented, as well as R&D's literally life-saving inventions, the number of fatalities in the field—suspects and operatives alike—has dropped by a staggering 7%. There has also been a notable decrease in property damage related to XERXES squad deployments, which I am sure our City Council appreciates.

HR has asked me to share the following statement from our every busy but always smiling CEO X:

"It is thanks to all of your extraordinary dedication and hard work that this last year has been one of the most successful ones in this company's long history. You do XERXES and everything it stands for proud. Thank you.

Let us continue to make the world a safer place for everyone, one day at a time."

To show their appreciation, Top Management is covering our collective coffee bill for the entire first quarter! If that is not a reason for a celebratory cappuccino, I don't know what is.

Also if anyone could let me know where the best coffee machine is, that would be great. The seven ones I have tried on our floor have proven to be more of a problem than a solution.

As for the tea drinkers among you: I am afraid that hot water is already free and so are the YoshYosh tea bags, thanks to our long-standing partnership with WHY—the company, not the question—so there really is not much left for Top Management to do.

Still, I hope you feel every bit as seen and valued as your ground-bean-juice-addicted colleagues.

On a side note: Apparently no one at XERXES calls our CEO by his name, because "that's for the tabloids to throw around". Though I would like to know who came up with the title "X" of all things. You guys know he is not actually the personification of XERXES, right? Right?

Until next week, remember: It is not about whether or not the world gets saved, it is about the complaints and eye-rolls you shared along the way. And the expense reports that I am sure you have already filed according to Finance's exacting requirements. Otherwise they will hunt you down.

That said, if you do find yourself in the position to choose in these coming days, please do save the world.

I, for one, would appreciate it.

​
Your Marketing Department's newest and only intern
​Jo

*Just kidding. Like anyone would tell an intern a state secret.